It’s mayhem in Moose land

carrie-zwiftI lost my Vendetta rights today. It all started when I purchased a Neo smart trainer and an app called Zwift. Zwift seemed to be the answer to all my cycling needs. Racing, training, and a community that just got it; At last, real people who understand people like me, the ultimate bicycle fanatic. Team moose was on a roll, a big time roll; just the thing needed to get Team Moose ready for Sebring. For those who don’t know, the Sebring 12/24 is one of the premiere bicycling events held on the East Coast. This February event is held at the Sebring international raceway in Florida. It’s a popular RAAM qualifier and draws cyclists from around the world. Zwift was the answer to getting Team Moose ready for this year’s action. But now it seems Team Moose is in turmoil and it started with Zwift and this stupid smart trainer. Zwift the ultimate gimmick to take one’s money and create turmoil in the home.

Ms. Daisy and I quickly adapted to the indoor training. The ability to ride whenever you felt like it regardless of the weather was simply put, sweet. Then it happened, the battle for the Neo. It quickly became obvious only one rider at a time can ride when there is only one trainer in the house. This wasn’t a hard issue to resolve but should have been a warning that a storm was on the horizon. A much larger problem developed with the registering for Zwift. Zwift is an online app that costs ten bucks a month. Not a large amount of money and well worth the cycling joys it promises to bring. But this is not all it brings. You see, when you sign up, you sign up under one name. Well, when you ride all of your data is stored in various places such as Strava so you can brag to all of your friends. Not only this but you get prizes like faster virtual wheels for riding so many miles. See the problem? We have two people accumulating data under one name and the Zwift folks, as nice as they are, happen to be bound and determined to expose every incident of “cheating” that has ever occurred in Zwift. Don’t try it. You’ll be demonized! OK, so now we throw in another ten bucks a month and have two accounts. They are sensibly called #1Team Moose and # 2 Team Moose. Get this, after two weeks Daisy wants to know why she is number two she wants to be number 1. Fine, another change Daisy is now #1 Team Moose and I’m #2.

More problems arise. Seems that even for a bicycle fanatic a smart trainer set up in the living room (with all the computers, fans, microphones, and towel holders) is not working so the set-up is banished to the garage. Ching, ching! Notice the addition of a microphone has been added to talk to all the Zwifters on another app called Discord during the rides. The fact that Discord has yet to work is irrelevant. Still more money goes into the black hole. Speaking of more money, the garage has no television so guess what? Yep, ching, ching! This is getting pathetic.

A few minor problems but it looks like everything is under control now. A great set up in the garage. A new wide screen TV, commo, and a boom box to boot. Did you know listening to Credence while racing will up your Wt/kg ratio by .7? I’m cooking with mo-gas now baby, one problem. Numbers don’t lie. I am the official holder of the slowest racer to ever grace Zwift land. I have more last place finishes than anyone in the history of Zwift. What more can I say? I’ll tell you what #1 says. “what the heck are you doing, and why are you the one riding VaMoose,” she asked. VaMoose, of course, is my esteemed Vendetta. Tomorrow we embark on a 200-mile ride to Jacksonville. #1 will ride VaMoose and I’m relegated to my old friend CruzMoose (Silvio). If things go as expected, this will cinch the new Sebring plan. Ms. Daisy rides Sebring on the Vendetta and I’ll be her Domestique as long as I can hold on. And that’s how I lost my Vendetta. Maybe it’s time for that second trainer. Ching, ching!

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